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The resurrected Jesus Christ ascending to heaven above the bright light sky and clouds and

SHalom,Salaam
and Peace

Kabbalists, Jewish mystics, believe that every letter, every pictograph, every sound in Hebrew is sacred.

 

God chanted the Torah and the Word in Hebrew, the original language, God’s language in the beginning and before and after.

 

All languages are beautiful, and they all derive from Hebrew.  They all come from God; they all flow from love.

 

Unfortunately, language can devolve and be warped by hatemongers, by demagogues.

 

But language, at its most elevated state, can bring us back to our original selves, when we were all angels, before the Fall.

 

If God is to bring the heavens to the Earth, He will want to see that we are exalting Him.  And one of the ways that we can exalt or hallow God is by improving our discourse.

 

This does not mean that we cannot call out evil.

 

God, the Son and the Father, has blessed us with the Holy Spirit, baptizing us in water and fire.

 

We need to write and speak civilly, but that does not mean that we cannot write and speak with love, with a fierce love.

 

We should strive to be language artists, warriors for love and peace, for Shalom and Salaam.

 

Love and peace are worth fighting for; and we need to do so for Jesus, for God the Father, so that He will bring about the Resurrection, when we will be reunited with our soul mates in a new heaven, new earth.

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GENESIS: GOD IS BARBARA,
MY SOUL MATE

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Bereshit bara Elohim et-hashamayim veh et-haaretz.

 

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.

 

And in the beginning, God created a soul mate for each one of us.

 

It is said that a person searches his or her entire life for that soul mate, over the generations, through the ages.

 

Barbara, my wife, passed away in Sept. 2019.  But she is, was and always will be my soul mate.

 

That does not mean that souls cannot roll or migrate, as mystical Judaism and other religions hold.

 

I believe that souls can migrate, and Barbara would not want me to be alone.

 

But at the end of time, when God does bring about the Resurrection, I do believe that I will be reunited with God and with my Barbara.

 

God gets all the glory for everything.

 

And God is everything.

 

He gets all the glory for the Bible, for the Torah and the Word, which, according to the Kabbalah, existed 1,000 years before the creation of the world.

 

God defeated the chaos, the darkness that seemingly prevailed at the time.  And He filled it with light and truth, with the heavens and the earth, with all species and hybrids, angels and mortals.

 

The Lord knows every single one of us.  He has a Book of Life that documents all of our doings, whoever we are, whether we are humans, birds, fish, animals, minerals, plants or anything else.

 

We are all God’s creatures.

 

And He has enlisted angels on our behalf.

 

In my case, God gave birth to me through my parents, two of my greatest angels, Bob Jaffee, my dad, a Renaissance Man of finance and letters, who passed away in May 2020, and Ina Fae Jaffee, my wonderful mom, my first teacher, who sang to me when I was in the womb and the cradle, and who taught me to read when I was a child.

 

My dad and my mother both inspire me everyday with love.

 

And God is love, a point often made by my Barbara, who is not only my soul mate but also my eternal Muse and chief angel.

 

There is no greater evidence of this than the fact that God sent Barbara to nurture and save me, under His purview, for the 23 years and more that Barbara and I were together in this lifetime.

 

Of course, Barbara and I are still together; she is with me in spirit, as one soul, one spirit in pair, one soul in tandem.

 

Barbara is an angel now, as she always has been; and one day, we will indeed rejoin each other in the heavens.

 

“Soul to soul, our shadows roll, and I’ll be with you when the deal goes down,” sings Bob Dylan, one of the greatest prophets, channeling the Lord.

 

Yes, we will be together, sweet Barbara, when the deal goes down, as we are now, except we will be even closer, as before, when the Resurrection takes place, and God brings the heavens to the earth.

 

I am just a person, a flawed man, a sinner.

 

But my Barbara, more than anyone, overflows with love, overflows with God.

 

I am very lucky that Barbara loves me so much.  And I am very lucky that I love her so much, too.

 

God is love, and love extends to infinity and beyond.

 

As we know, no one is perfect; and nothing is perfect, except God, our Creator.

 

Jesus is our Savior.

 

And He pervades everything in our world.

 

He is the heavens and the earth.

 

He is the sun, the moon and every common sight, to use a phrase from William Wordsworth.

 

God is every creature great and small, in the words of James Herriot.

 

God is every beautiful work of art and every advance in science.

 

He is the mountains and the rivers, sports and movies, cats and dogs, fish and birds, lions and elephants, whales and dolphins, and every species, including homo sapiens, on this planet or any other.

 

God is anyone who has ever been oppressed.

 

God is those who are persecuted.

 

God is anyone who is different.

 

God is the poor.

 

It is true that no person is defined by being a member of a minority group or an oppressed community, and being a person of color or a member of an oppressed community does not make someone a good person.

 

It is also true that God looks out for those who have been victimized by evil.

 

God clearly is on the side of the underdog.

 

He roots for and looks after people who have been historically oppressed or people who face systemic or structural inequities or racism.

 

This does not mean that individuals are not accountable for their behavior, or for their actions.

 

We are all accountable for what we do, as well as what we write and say and think, as Jesus tells us.

 

It can be very difficult to control our minds, to ward off intrusive thoughts, but we must strive to do so, if we are to reach the state of an angel, bleached as much as possible of sin, and if we are to return to our love, to our soul mate.

 

In terms of writing and speech, we need to elevate language as best we can and apologize when we have hurt people.

 

Words do matter, and they can help lead us to peace and love, if we tap into and invoke the sacred kinship of letters, of sounds.

 

As for our actions, we must avoid violence and de-escalate when we are faced with peril, for violence is not an option!

 

Violence can take many forms.

 

Physical violence is anathema to our world; the loss of any life, the loss of any species, can threaten the health, can threaten the wellbeing, of the planet, of the heavens and the earth.

 

Equally toxic and malevolent is violence of a spiritual or psychological nature, violence against the soul or the spirit of another individual.

 

No one should attempt “soul murder,” a term used by the late psychiatrist Leonard Shengold, to describe when adults, through abuse or neglect, try to destroy the soul or spirit of a child.

 

We are all souls, as well as bodies.

 

The body serves the spirit.

 

And the soul, the Holy Spirit, is eternal and pure, far more powerful than our bodies, than our corporeal selves.

 

When people attempt soul murder against someone else, that may be one of the worst sins of all.

 

As many know, that is what my kindergarten teacher tried to do to me, when I was a 5-year-old boy.

 

And that is what many others have tried to do through much of my life.

 

I am not the only one, who has been victimized by evil.

 

Many children, many teens and many adults have been so victimized, by people and in some cases by gangs, who have borne false witness against us, who have tried to poison our names, our bodies, our souls.

 

God looks out for those who are on the receiving end of evil.

 

God has protected me from those who lied, cheated and tried to steal from me, from those who tried to murder my soul.

 

No one should lie, cheat or steal!

 

No one!

 

No one should attempt murder!

 

No one should attempt soul murder!

 

No one should be violent!

 

We are all sinners, and we all need to atone, to repent.

 

There is no question that God, that Jesus, sustains those of us who are being victimized, so long as we don’t turn to the dark side, so long as we don’t turn to evil.

 

There is no justification for evil.  None!

 

I have never turned to evil.  And I never will.

 

But that does not mean that I am not a sinner.  I am a sinner.

 

I have sinned, and I still sin.

 

As I wrote earlier, sometimes, it can be hard to control one’s thoughts, to control one’s mind.

 

No one is perfect, except Jesus.

 

And He is God, the Son of God.

 

He likes to test us, particularly those whom He loves the most.  He wants to see that we will not flip to the dark side.

 

This is why the Lord looses the devil on Job, to test the man who is “perfect and upright.”

 

Job may pity himself; he may wish that he were never born.  But he does not flip to the side of evil.

 

And I won’t flip either.

 

I have the Lord and angels backing me up.

 

And I have, as we all do, the Holy Spirit that Jesus has infused in me, the free will to do the right thing.

 

I won’t ever go with the devil.

 

Never!

 

Yes, we all get the “thorn of Satan” in us, but I will never intentionally try to hurt anyone.

 

Never!

 

I know that my Barbara, my little angel and soul mate, is the chief angel looking out for me.

 

We are linked together for eternity.

 

And I’ll be with you, baby, when the deal goes down, to quote Bob Dylan again.

 

I do have other angels, who have been enlisted by the Lord.

 

God knows that I have been “picked out to be picked on,” in the words of Beyonce, as Carolyn Whiley, my friend, told me.

 

Carolyn is another one of my angels.

 

She lives in the House of the Lord, and Barbara brought me to Carolyn, who has brought me closer to God.

 

Carolyn and her mother, Lucille Whiley, known as Mama, often say that God IS.

 

They know better than I.

 

God IS.

 

God is everything.

 

God, as I wrote earlier, is the oppressed.

 

God is the persecuted.

 

God is members of the LGBTQ community.

 

With this principle in mind, that God is individuals within a group of people, God is everything and everyone.

 

God is women.

 

God is African-Americans.

 

God is Latinos.

 

God is Asians.

 

God is Native Americans.

 

God is every religion or non-religion, Jewish, Catholic, Protestant, Mormon, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu, indigenous, Zoroastrian and all others.

 

God is our pets.

 

God is all of the animals in the animal kingdom.

 

God is everything.

 

God IS.

 

Were it not for the grace of God, were it not for His love and His presence, I would not be here today.  Nor would I have such an ethereal soul mate in Barbara, or other angels in the firmament, like my mother and my dad, Ina and Bob Jaffee.

 

I don’t have a perfect relationship with anyone, and that includes my relationships with my angels, as I have noted elsewhere, such as in a tribute to my dad on this website.

 

Again, no one is perfect, not my angels, not my family members or friends, and not me.

 

Only God is perfect.  Only Jesus is perfect.

 

The rest of us are sinners.

 

But Jesus is not here to heal the righteous.  Jesus is here to heal the non-righteous, which is, to say, all of us.

 

He is here to save us, to give us all a chance to repent and to be born again.

 

God is very forgiving, as Carolyn told me in 2019 at the Mark Hopkins Hotel, three months after Barbara passed away.

 

The Whiley family is filled with angels, including Carolyn, who flies high in the heavens; Mama, the “prayer warrior” in Carolyn’s words, a goddess, whose devotion to the Lord sets a standard for all to follow; Shannon, Carolyn’s sister, a very dear angel, as gifted at accounting and electronics as she is at golf and prayer; Joe, a master of the Bible and pugilism; Bryan, Carolyn’s son, a gentle giant with a beautiful voice; Grace, a blue and green-eyed cat, a rascally angel; and little Jacob, our rambunctious and adorable puppy; and little Pepper, our adorable cat from Hawaii.

 

Then there is Fergie, my orange tabby, who purrs with tenderness and love, and whom Barbara and I rescued in 2019.

 

God is Grace!

 

God is Jacob!

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God is Pepper!

 

God is Fergie!

 

God is Carlitos and Rumi and all of the cats and dogs and bunnies and birds and other animals in Barbara’s life and mine!

 

God is my mom and dad, Ina and Bob Jaffee!

 

God is my Barbara!

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God is Carol, my wonderful girlfriend, who is the subject of a special tribute, and Kathy, Carol's lovely sister, and Penny and Pepper, our two sweet dogs.

 

And God is very forgiving, as Carolyn said.

 

In the spirit of forgiveness and healing, God is everyone, including myself, a sinner, as well as people who have harmed me.  They too are sinners, and they too bear elements of God, as we all do.

 

Of course, some people are such high angels that they approach saintdom.

 

God is healers, doctors and veterinarians, who truly live the Hippocratic oath!

 

God is teachers, who nurture their students, not unlike Barbara, who nurtured me!

 

God is kindness and patience.

 

God is the Torah and the Word.

 

God is the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.

 

God is the Tree of Souls!

 

God is every tree on this planet and elsewhere.

 

God is every beautiful voice that we have ever read or heard.

 

God is the Voice!

 

God is artists of all varieties, including those of the spoken and written word, particularly those who persist in their art throughout their lives.

 

God loves a beautiful love song, written and chanted by a writer and singer of modesty and soul.

 

Few write or sing as beautifully or with as much love as Professor George Fayen, my favorite teacher at Yale, who taught me The Canterbury Tales.

 

Professor Fayen just passed away at 91 on June 9 of last year.

 

We should always remember our angels, and I will always remember Professor Fayen.

 

At the time that I was Professor Fayen’s student in the fall of 1986, I was deeply depressed and having trouble reading English, let alone Middle English.

 

My trauma from kindergarten, a subject I have written and spoken about before, made reading and at times still makes reading a spiritually challenging experience for me.

 

Professor Fayen nurtured me through the fall of 1986, and he nurtured all of us in his English 125 class.

 

I am repeating the word, “nurture,” because the best teachers and human beings, angels and hybrids, know that this is a tough planet.

 

It is reported that Bob Dylan’s grandmother told him to be nice to everybody because we don’t know what someone else is going through.

 

Dylan’s grandmother had a lot of wisdom.

 

And so do all the best human beings, mortals and angels, who help us through our journey, especially when they can see that someone is having trouble, that a sweet soul has been traumatized by the jealousy of others, and that sadists are weaponizing their jealousy to do evil.

 

Teaching Chaucer and other writers for a half-century, Professor Fayen accrued feathers of glory, under the Lord, for nurturing several generations of students, including my classmates and me in the fall of 1986.

 

It is a testament to the Lord that I was able to get through that class.

 

And God, the Son and the Father, picked Professor Fayen to be my teacher.

 

Other than the Lord Himself, who gets all the glory for everything, Professor Fayen, who studied on a fellowship at Oxford after his undergraduate days at Yale, deserves the highest praise, a first, for teaching my classmates and me so lovingly Geoffrey Chaucer’s poem, one of the seminal texts in English literature and in the development of the English language.

 

Likewise, Professor Fred Robinson did a remarkable job, with his kindness and patience, in teaching me Old English in the spring of 1987, when I was in my last semester as an undergraduate at Yale.

 

He too is an unsung hero in my life, whose heroism should be chanted with love.

 

He stood up for me when others were hurting me at Yale.

 

And Professor Robinson taught me beautifully.

 

Like Eric, his son and a friend from Hopkins, my high school in New Haven, Conn., Professor Robinson exemplified the heroic code of the Old English poets, and he served the Lord with honor and courage.

 

Marena Fisher is another angel from my undergraduate years, who looked out for me and who quite possibly suffered as a result.

 

Like Professor Fayen and Professor Robinson, Marena is brilliant; she is also modest.  These are qualities that she shares with Barbara, my wife and soul mate.

 

Of course, more than any other human or angel, it is Barbara, whose spirit will always hover over and guide me to God through life, through literature and through the Bible.

 

Barbara is the most brilliant and modest person I have ever met.

 

This website has a special section dedicated to my Barbara, to Barbara Bunny.

 

I urge you to read that special section where there are photographs of and stories regarding my Barbara, images and writing that are exclusive to this website.

 

Barbara Bunny, for that is what I called her, will always be my baby, my better half, my soul mate.

 

She is my eternal angel, who steered me to the art of Norman Mailer and Bob Dylan, among other writers; who encouraged me every day with pats on the back, loving advice and tasty meals; and who mused my writing and directed my career, under the Lord.

 

Barbara also served the Lord by bringing me back to some of my old friends, like Andrew Levy, my best friend from Hopkins, my high school, and one of the best friends I have ever had.

 

We cannot heal without dear friends and angels.

 

And Andrew, an exceptionally smart and compassionate man, has helped keep my entire Hopkins class together.  He has helped to heal a whole bunch of us, by doing good deeds, which as Dr. Michael McGrail, my psychiatrist from 1996 through 2007, once said is what life is all about.

 

We are here to do good deeds.

 

Andrew does good deeds all the time.

 

And Andrew does so in a tough-minded and loving way; he is serving the Lord.

 

Andrew has protected me with his wisdom, his common sense and his loyalty.

 

I am grateful that Andrew, whom I met on my first day at Hopkins in the fall of 1977, is my dear friend.

 

Other than God, who created all of us, no one is linked to me spiritually more than my Barbara.

 

I am very lucky that in this lifetime I have re-connected with Barbara after being apart, after being separated, perhaps for generations, perhaps for millennia.

 

Only God knows.

 

And God gets all the glory!

 

I do have many angels in the ether, some of whom I have written about in the past.

 

Every beautiful soul, and even those who are not so beautiful, may appear to an extent in the opus that Barbara has mused and that I have received.

 

The opus, to which I have alluded in articles for Thrive Global, Arianna Huffington’s publication on wellness and spirituality, will be published in the future.

 

It is an epic novel, eight books of fiction, written in a style that the Lord has had me characterize as Kabbalistic realism.

 

I will discuss the opus a bit more later, but first I would like to praise other angels, other beautiful souls in Barbara’s life and mine.

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EXODUS: OTHER ANGELS
IN THE FIRMAMENT

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Exodus, the second book of the Torah, refers to the escape of the Israelites from slavery in Egypt.

 

Passover is the Jewish holiday that commemorates this escape, including the miracle of God parting the Red Sea for Moses, leader of the Israelites.

 

We have some wonderful leaders today in the United States and in the world, like President Joe Biden and Vice-President Kamala Harris, who honor God.

 

God comes first, then country; and our country, the United States, provides the best chance for freedom, for justice, for true justice, for true light and truth in the world.

 

We are a country of laws.

 

And no one is above the law, not a president, not a senator or congressman, not a justice or judge, not a reporter, not anyone.

 

No one is above the law.

 

Angels, of course, float above in the heavens, and they sometimes swoop down and interact with us on the earth.

 

One of the most beautiful angels, one of the most beautiful souls, integral to my life and the opus, is Herb Goodwin, a former state judge, eminent in his field and in every way.

 

Herb may have been the fairest person I have ever met, and that is one of the best qualities for a judge or for anyone on this planet.

 

Like Andrew Levy and Mr. Delaney Kiphuth, who is the subject of a special tribute on this site, Herb bonded with me over sports, baseball in particular.

 

Under the guidance of the Lord, I wrote a tribute to Herb that appeared in the Huffington Post in 2015 at the time of Herb’s passing.

 

Herb was an avuncular figure, who looked out for me for years.  Herb protected me from evil, and he served the Lord by helping all of us.

 

Herb was a beacon of integrity as a prosecutor at the Justice Department and the U.S. Attorney’s office, as a lawyer in private practice, as a judge, as a husband, as a father and as a friend.

 

And, as I noted earlier, Herb and I loved to talk about the national pastime.

 

We hit it off right away.

 

Though we talked about many subjects, politics, music, movies and other sports, we almost always came back to baseball.

 

Herb was for many years my dearest friend, under God, and I will always remember Herb and his family.

 

Herb and Rhoda, Herb’s wife, and their daughters, Joanne, and Carolyn and her husband Dan, and Lauren and her husband Adam, as well as Herb and Rhoda’s grandson, Gabriel, and their sweet dog, Gunther, are all angels to me.

 

I first met Herb, who went to Tufts with my dad, and Rhoda, who was my mother’s college roommate at Boston University, when I was a child and already a sports fan.

 

Rhoda is still a dear friend of my mother’s and mine.  Like Herb, she is joyful and positive and expert not only in her field as a psychologist but also in politics and wisdom and literature, not unlike my mother, as befits former roommates, who remain boon friends.

 

As I wrote in my Huffington Post tribute to Herb, a piece that ran in 2015, I can recall the first time that I met Herb, who, like Rhoda, never flagged in his good cheer, kindness and wisdom.

 

He very sweetly let me watch an NFL playoff game when my family and I were visiting him and Rhoda and their family at their home in Brookline, Mass., in 1976.

 

Herb was always kind.  And he always gave me loving advice, perhaps never more so than in 1999 during my relapse.

 

“There are some things that I can’t control,” said Herb to me over the phone, when I was in the midst of psychosis.  “But there’s one thing I know: Nothing is going to happen to you.”

 

Herb’s words of sublime tenderness comforted me, though I was very ill at the time.

 

Herb never stopped being kind and generous to me with his love, with his thoughtfulness, and with his honor.

 

A state judge in Massachusetts, Herb cared deeply about civil rights, human rights, gay rights and all rights.

 

He represented the highest ideals of our country and of the world.

 

Herb stood for justice, true justice, light and truth in the truest sense of those words.

 

We need people like Herb in this world because it is people like Herb, people of light and truth, true light and truth, who, under the Lord, will help lead us out of the darkness and the shadow of death, to paraphrase from the Book of Job.

 

It is people like Herb Goodwin, who stand up for the oppressed and against evil.

 

Herb absolutely did the Lord’s work, though Herb might have referred to it in a different manner.

 

Herb, chief judge of his district in Massachusetts, inspired me, and he contributed mightily to making this a planet of ideals, a planet that we can and all should love.

 

Herb is still helping us and still helping me from his perch in the heavens.

 

My dad, Bob Jaffee, who, like Barbara, has a special section on this website, also stood for light and truth, the true light and truth, the highest ideals.

 

It goes without saying that my dad is one of the greatest angels in my life, under God.

 

It was my dad, who originally brought sports, including baseball, into my life when I was a little boy.

 

He showed me how to hit, and he gave me my first pitches.

 

He entranced me with his discussions of the Oakland A’s, of Catfish Hunter and Vida Blue and Blue Moon Odom and Reggie Jackson, whose colorful names and colorful uniforms all percolated in my subconscious.

 

He helped me develop strength and endurance in my arm when I threw a ball by having me move farther and farther away from him after every toss.

 

We did this exercise with my right-hand, because my dad and I both thought that I was right-handed.

 

In fact, I am left-dominant, something I did not realize for almost 40 years after my kindergarten trauma, a trauma that I have discussed at length in other writings.

 

I thank God that I do have decent strength in my right hand, as in my left, and much of that strength undoubtedly comes from these exercises with my dad when I threw baseballs as a kid.

 

God oversaw this activity, as He oversees everything in my life and in everyone’s life.

 

God is everything.

 

To repeat what my friend Carolyn Whiley and her mother, Mama, Lucille Whiley, often say, God is!

 

God IS!

 

God is everything beautiful in this world, in the heavens and the earth.

 

God is Barbara, my soul mate.

 

And God is every friend and angel that I have ever had.

 

As I said earlier, God is my dad and my mom, who, along with my Barbara, are the greatest influences in my life, under the Lord.

 

God is other family members, including my brother, Bill, and his wife, Nancy, and his sons, Weston, a young man of empathy and kindness; BB, gifted in art and very interested in Barbara’s book about Carlitos, our cat who had diabetes; and Warren, a remarkable student, one of character and dignity.

 

God is my cousins Susan and Jonathan and their children, as well as Debbie and her brother Jonathan, beautiful souls, all of whom gave me love and support when I was a boy and after.

 

God is my Aunt Gloria, with her strength and sense of humor, and Uncle Harold, who loved to fish and talk about sports, and my Uncle Marv, my godfather in this lifetime and a high angel, and some of Uncle Marv’s family members, such as his mother, Dorothy, a delightful woman, as well as my other cousin Jonathan, an artist and maven of coffee.

 

God is my dad’s parents, Grandma Birdie, extraordinarily strong and wise, and Grandpa Samuel, who flutters in the ether.

 

God is my dad’s cousins, and ours, from Mexico, Rena and Sonia and Maria and Isadoro, whom we also met in New York, and Sergio, whom we first met in Mexico and with whom I later hung out in Massachusetts, and Sergio’s mother and dad, and Stanley and Dollie and Andrew and Ivan and family, sweethearts in Florida, and their family.

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God is Lisa and Jennifer and Paula and Joe Reagan and family.

 

God is Benjamin Harshav and his wife, Barbara, and their family.

 

God is Harold Bloom and his wife, Jean, and their family.

 

Like many of the others listed above, Professors Harshav and Bloom taught me at Yale College, and they riveted me with their idealism and their love for literature, Jewish semiotics, the J writer, poetry and language arts.

 

God is Steve Ross, who showed what it means to be a true leader when he selflessly stood up for me when I was a student at the Yale School of Management and in danger of being kicked out of school, due to the lies and evil of others.

 

Professor Ross and some of his Yale SOM colleagues, like Barry Nalebuff and Ed Kaplan and Subrata Sen and Ted Marmor and Art Swersey and Sharon Oster and Rick Antle and Amir Ziv and Joel Demski and others, gave me support when I was struggling.

 

They are heroes, led by Professor Ross, under the aegis of the Lord.

 

God is also my classmates and friends from the Yale School of Management, such as Dan Levine and his wife, Katherine, both of whom possess a modesty, emotional intelligence and empathy of the highest caliber.

 

Dan and Kate helped me so much when I was at Yale SOM.

 

They always cared for me.

 

Dan once told me that, in taking a class in organizational behavior, I needed to “check my ego at the door.”

 

He was right.

 

We all need to check our egos at the door in life, for this is God’s world.

 

God is the Creator of our world.  God is the Resurrection.  And God is the Author and Finisher of everything beautiful in our lives.

 

If we have ever done anything sublime, whatever it is, the Lord did that for us.

 

We need to remind ourselves of this, or we need to learn this, if we have not already.

 

As we know from the Book of Job, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh.

 

And God works in mysterious ways.

 

Another piece of wisdom that the Lord chanted in Dan Levine was this adage that I saw affixed to his refrigerator in Connecticut.

 

“Live simply, so others can simply live.”

 

I have not necessarily honored the adage, but it is a good one.  It is right on point.

 

And one thing that we need to do to simplify our lives is to be modest, to check our egos at the door.

 

Besides Dan and Katherine Levine, I have other wonderful friends from my time at the Yale School of Management, like Igor Helekal, my roommate back then, and his wife, Zuzana, and their family; Vittorio Calvanico, one of my dearest friends, and his family; Lo Presser, a woman of depth and soul with a love for song and community; Bruce Evans, a special angel, whom I had known from Hopkins, and his family; Rebekah Lambert, my then-girlfriend, with her beauty and compassion, and her family; Sarah Jane Holcombe, whom I also dated, a dear and loyal friend; and Jennifer McKinley, a delightful colleague.

 

All of these angels were kind to me, and I am forever grateful.

 

I salute them and the many other friends and angels who helped me during that period of time from 1992 through 1994.

 

God is other dear friends of mine over the years, like Tom Lee, my buddy from elementary school, and his family, including Brian and Patti and Bob and Mr. Robert and Mrs. Peggy Lee.

 

A former Boy Scout, who reveres the Golden Rule, Tom is one of the strongest and most beautiful souls I have encountered.

 

The Lord had Tom teach me how to play chess and how to run a post and other football patterns.

 

Tom is one of the best angels, flying in the ether.

 

I feel very lucky that the Lord brought Tom and his family into my life when I was a kid at Spring Glen School.

 

Brian Plante is another friend and angel of mine from elementary school.

 

He was my best friend in kindergarten, who had remarkable strength of character, kindness and maturity, which is quite unusual for a young child.

 

Brian stood up for me when we were kids, and it cost him.

 

He suffered because of me, a point to which I alluded in a Thrive Global piece.

 

I am very sorry that I caused Brian so much pain, and I would love to apologize to him, face to face and publicly.

 

Brian is a dear friend with more character than just about anyone else from my childhood.

 

I admire Brian, and I deeply regret the pain that I caused him.

 

Like Tom Lee, Brian Plante surges high in the heavens, where he belongs as one of the top angels.

 

God bless you, Brian, and your mom, your dad, your sister and your family!

 

God is other dear friends from other times in my life.

 

God is Jeremy Lewisohn and Billy Meltzer and Marshall Rubin and Brian Rubin, Jewish tough guys, who looked out for me in school, at temple and at summer camp.

 

God is Matt and Bo and Fish and Jeff and Robert, some of my counselors at Jewish summer camp, and the Ticotskys and the Kampners and Mike Shepp and Bobby N. and Julian and Julian and Dave S. and Jordan and Eric and Bernard and Seth and Ken S. and Dave P. and other pals.

 

God is Gary Greenberg and the Greenberg family and Mrs. Albertine Taber and her family and Eric Finseth and Ian Finseth and Dr. Katie and Dr. Fred and Bernie Rodriguez and his family and Bob Fitzgerald and his sister, Karen, and their family and Dr. Harry Mark and Hailey Mark and other friends from childhood.

 

God is Eric Taitano, my running and workout buddy from Boston University Law School, who is an angel with the heart of a lion.

 

God is Eric’s whole family, his wife Colleen, an outstanding attorney, like Eric, loaded with strength and compassion; their children, Eric, Alianna and Alec; and Eric and Colleen’s sisters and brothers and parents.

 

God is Mark Pettit, my contracts professor at Boston University Law, who had a penchant for singing, self-deprecation and creativity and who could outrun just about all of his students.

 

He could certainly outrun me.

 

Professor Pettit also looked out for me.   He cared for all of us.  And, like my Barbara and so many of my angels, Professor Pettit was modest and brilliant.

 

I miss him.

 

God bless you, Professor Pettit!  You are a legal Muse!

 

When I think back on it, after having been brought into the House of the Lord, I realize that God has carefully planned every step of my life, every step of my schooling, every step of my work experience, every step of my career, every step of my writing, and every step of my romance, leading me to Barbara Bunny.

 

It is He, it is only He, Jesus Christ, who is the Author and Finisher of our Faith, which is to say every Faith.

 

For we are all One Faith under One God.  And that God is Jesus!

 

Jesus is the sweetest name, as Kirk Franklin and Rance Allen and Tasha Cobbs and Cece and Bebe Winans sing, music that Carolyn Whiley, one of my angels, has played for me.

 

I had never listened to Gospel, not that I can remember, until I met Carolyn.

 

I am convinced that I have known many angels before.

 

And I only met Carolyn in this lifetime, just as I only met Miss Bruney in junior high, just as I only met my Barbara at a UCLA writing class, because of the Lord, because of His Master Plan.

 

It was God and only God who decided that I would have my public school kindergarten class held in the basement of Mishkan Israel, a Reform synagogue, where I was abused by my kindergarten teacher.

 

It was God and only God who made sure that I would get through my teacher’s abuse, and He also planned that I would endure trauma for years, for decades, before I would start to heal.

 

It was God and only God, who decided that I would leave the Hamden public school system after 6th grade, after I had Mrs. Sylvia Burke, one of my best teachers ever, who was the first to speak of my promise as a writer.

 

It was God and only God, who set me up with Mrs. Toni Giamatti as my first adviser and English teacher at Hopkins, when I was in 7th grade.

 

And it was God and only God, who unspooled, like a reel of film, many of the angels, who encouraged and blessed me, like Mrs. Giamatti, as well as some of the devils, who would hurt me.

 

I had, of course, already encountered angels and devils prior to my time at Hopkins, which began in 1977.

 

But it was at Hopkins and later at Yale, where I met so many beautiful souls, who came to my rescue, under the Lord.

 

Like any institution, entity or person, for that matter, Yale is not monolithic.

 

By no means is Yale all good.

 

I met a number of people, who hurt me very badly, during my time at my alma mater.

 

Still, I am convinced that, had I studied at any other college, I would have fared far worse and would not have survived, without the Lord, who decided that I would go to Yale.

 

The Lord likes to show what He can do in the most awe-inspiring ways.

 

And what He can do is perform miracles that are “beyond spectacular,” as Shannon Whiley, Carolyn’s sister, has said so eloquently.

 

What Jesus can do, what God can do, cannot be foreseen or replicated or matched or counteracted by any mortal or angel.

 

The Lord is in charge.

 

It is only He who provides “signs and wonders to behold and perform,” as Mama and Carolyn say.

 

God is love, as my Barbara always said.

 

God is everything.

 

And God IS, as Mama and Carolyn always say.

 

God is a chess champion, beyond compare.

 

We cannot fathom the depth and complexities of God and His Master Plan.

 

God does work in mysterious ways, a theme of the Book of Job and the entire Bible.

 

It strikes me that many of the best people whom I have met or interviewed have been athletes, some of whom, like Richard Albero and Barry Lyons and Tom Parr, are friends of my buddy, Andrew Levy.

 

Like Tom S. and Paul, and Tom D. and Dick, they all have a sophisticated knowledge, earned through pain and even punishment, about what it takes to be successful, let alone to excel, in a demanding field.

 

Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley and Steff Curry; Derek Jeter, Rickey Henderson and Reggie Jackson; Wayne Gretzky and Mark Messier; Jimmy Connors and Ivan Lendl; Joe Montana and Roger Staubach; Serena and Venus Williams; Jackie Joyner Kersee and Chris Evert; Ray Mancini and Dave Paul, my boxing trainer — all of these people know what it is like to endure pain, to endure physically and spiritually taxing regimens in order to compete in the sports world and to thrive in that arena.

 

The same is true of many of the greatest artists.

 

Perhaps, it is because God has chosen for me to be a novelist as well as a journalist that I will focus on creative writers, in particular writers of fiction and song, like Norman Mailer and Bob Dylan, who have put in years, decades, of dedication and love, to produce some of the most beautiful art that we have read or heard in our lives.

 

Yes, God is Norman Mailer and Bob Dylan and Thornton Wilder and E.L. Doctorow and Pete Hamill and Toni Morrison and Emily Bronte and Amos Oz and Leslie Epstein and Leonard Cohen and Howard Schwartz and Rabbi Simeon and Rabbi Akiva and Moses de Leon and David and Bathsheba and Solomon and Sheba and Joseph and Asenath and Moses and Zipporah and Joshua and Elijah and Samuel and Judah and Jacob and Leah and Rachel and Isaac and Rebecca and Abraham and Sarah and Adam and Eve and Joseph and Mary and Jesus Himself, the Author and Finisher of our Faith, and so many of the other language artists, prophets and patriarchs of wonder, who have influenced me and enriched my life.

 

Like Jesus, God, the Son, God, the Heavenly Father, the Almighty, does not like it when people try to thwart the love at the heart of an artist, the love at the heart of a novelist, the love at the heart of a songwriter, the love at the heart of a prophet.

 

No, God does not like a bully, a punk, let alone a cabal of bullies and cowards, who gang up on an artist, a beautiful soul.

 

And God always brings light to the truth.

 

Light and truth.

 

That happens to be the motto of Yale.

 

And so I will return to Yale and to God’s Master Plan for me.

 

All is vanity here on this planet.

 

We are not defined by where we go or do not go to school.

 

We should yearn only for the heavens.

 

And we should only be good and modest, as Carolyn advised me.

 

There was no one better or more modest than Barbara, who is my lead angel, floating and fluttering in the ether and hovering over me with love.

 

God has got my back, and a little angel is looking out for me, as Carolyn told me.

 

That little angel is Barbara, and God has appointed many other angels to assist Him and to join Barbara.

 

These are some of the generations of angels in my life, sent to help me by the Lord Jesus Christ.

 

God is Greg Alegi, one of my closest friends from college, who transferred to Yale when I was a sophomore.

 

Along with his brother Danny, Greg prepped with me for a year at Hopkins, and he hosted me in Rome when I visited after graduation.

 

A scholar of history, literature and the Italian military, Greg is one of the most brilliant and extraordinary people whom I have met.

 

He can quote Latin from ancient texts, and he cites proverbs and Jewish wisdom with love.

 

I did not know Greg that well when I was at Hopkins, but we became good friends at Yale, where he surfaced as my lead angel in Saybrook College when I was a sophomore.

 

Greg was my best friend in Saybrook, my dormitory at Yale, and I hope to see Greg again, as well as his family, his mother and his brothers, Danny and Peter.

 

I have many other angels from my time at Hopkins and Yale, including Andrew Grant-Thomas, one of the best friends I have ever had, with whom I traveled in England after college, with whom I had many other adventures in New York, in Massachusetts, when Eric Robinson joined us on a road trip to MIT and Smith College, and elsewhere.

 

Andrew Grant-Thomas was one of my best friends at Hopkins, and I did not even know it, but we became much better friends at Yale, where we played basketball together and hung out.

 

Like Greg Alegi, Andrew is a brilliant man, a brilliant angel, and also, like Greg, Andrew transferred into Yale, when I was a sophomore.

 

This too was part of God’s Master Plan, to replenish me with a few friends in and outside of my dormitory.

 

Yes, God works in mysterious ways, and He is most spectacular, for, without Greg helping me in Saybrook College, without Andrew and Eric Robinson and some other Hopkins graduates, like Mike LaSpina and Scott McLaughlin, helping me when I was an undergraduate, I would have had a much harder time at Yale.

 

But there they were, along with Mrs. Giamatti and Bart Giamatti and Marcus and Elena and Paul Giamatti, the first family of Yale, aiding me.

 

And there was Mr. Kiphuth, my best friend and mentor during my time at Yale, who did more than anyone, under the Lord, to save me from being kicked out of the school when others lied about me.

 

I never did get a chance to say goodbye to Mr. Kiphuth, and this grieves me.  But Barbara let me know some time ago that Mr. Kiphuth is one of my greatest angels in the firmament, and that he too is looking out for me, as I move forward on this journey.

 

When I think of my Barbara, my greatest angel and soul mate, I can’t help but think of our wedding day.

 

My dad was my best man.

 

And Andrew Grant-Thomas, Bruce Evans, Eric Taitano and Igor Helekal were among the groomsmen and ushers.

 

Nothing is perfect in this world.

 

Only Jesus is perfect.

 

But there is no question that Barbara is the best thing that ever happened to me, and when I think of my wedding day, I will always think of the most beautiful time of my life.

 

I will think of how Igor and Zuzana, his wife, flew into Los Angeles from Prague in the Czech Republic to come to Barbara’s and my wedding.

 

One of my closest friends, Igor has exceptional quantitative gifts and a deep sense of honor.  I have not seen Igor and Zuzana and Igor’s family in years, and I miss them.

 

God bless you, Igor, and Zuzana and your mother and your whole family!

 

When I think of my wedding day, I will also think of some of Barbara’s and my friends from L.A., like Connie Monaghan, my first supervisor at L.A. Weekly, an angel with a quirky sense of humor.

 

Connie is a playwright and a comedienne, and Barbara and I had a lot of fun with her at the wedding, as we always did when we got together.

 

God bless you, Connie!

 

I will also think of Dave Paul, who is blessed by the Lord in so many ways.  Dave trained me with a deft touch in boxing, and he helped prepare me for adventures outside of the ring.

 

When I think of my wedding day, I also think of Dave’s wife, Kim, and their son, Junebug, dancing on the floor at the Ritz Carlton Huntington Hotel, and Brian Phelan, my boxing buddy, cheering Barbara and me on, as we gave our toasts.

 

All of these angels have put in rounds of love in the ring, rounds of love on the canvas.

 

There are other angels from that day, from that time in Barbara’s and my life together.

 

Kim and Tom Henning, friends and neighbors of Barbara’s for years, shared many special days with us and many special meals at Fresco Ristorante in Glendale and years later in Seattle.

 

Kim and Tom also share with Barbara and me a love for cats.  The Hennings are great people, and I miss them.

 

Lori Jordache, an angel whom Barbara met at a grief group before she met me, and Lori’s husband, Michael Roy, another angel with a sensitive soul, also came to our wedding, as we came to theirs.

 

Lori and Barbara had a very strong bond from those days, a bond of deep empathy and love.

 

Barbara and I used to meet Lori and Michael on occasion for dinner in Glendale.  And they came to some of our parties.

 

I hope to see Lori and Michael again.  They are wonderful souls.  And I miss them, too.

 

God bless you, Lori and Michael!

 

Donald Goebel, who met Barbara at a UCLA extension writing class before I did, also came to the wedding; and I remember some lovely times, lovely dinners, one on New Year’s, with Donald and his partner, Art, two kind men, two angels and artists, whom I also hope to see again.

 

It has been years since I have seen Donald and Art.

 

And I am very sorry that we fell out of touch.

 

God bless you, Donald and Art!

 

Toni Sowers was also at the wedding.

 

Like Barbara, Toni survived the depravity of the L.A. music scene of the 1970s and later, and she always retained her wit as well as her integrity.

 

Blessings to you, Toni!

 

And when I think of Barbara’s and my wedding, I also think of Howell and Linda Pinkston, two dear friends, whom I miss very much.

 

Howell and Linda were two of our best friends for years, with whom Barbara and I shared many laughs and good times.

 

We went to art openings and talks with Howell and Linda.

 

We met them frequently for dinner in Santa Monica, as well as in Malibu and Glendale.

 

We had many wonderful times together, lots of laughs and lively conversation.

 

I hope that they are both doing well, and I am sending them my love.

 

Blessings to you, Howell and Linda!  Blessings to Wally!

 

And here’s to the good times at Barbara’s and Howell’s 50th high school reunion.  Here’s to Mr. McAlpine and Charlie Barnett and Frank Doty and Al Sloan and other sweet classmates of Barbara’s and Howell’s, like Janet Dressel, whom I never met but who was kind to Barbara, and to all of Barbara’s teachers, who encouraged my Barbara to go to college!

 

God is every great teacher!

 

God is Mr. Dahl and Mr. Watkin and other principals and professors who mentored Barbara Bunny!

 

Other angels glide through the firmament, too, in other times and other plains.

 

God is Glenna Norris, a lover of cats and spirituality, gifted in voice and compassion, and the Holy Spirit.

 

Barbara and I met Glenna on Barbara’s birthday roughly a year after Barbara and I got married.

 

We had many good times with Glenna, and we look forward to seeing you in the future.

 

Blessings to you, Glenna!

 

God is Andrew and Magaliz and Cynthia and some of the other kind people in the UCLA extension writing class, where Barbara and I met.

 

You helped us, Andrew and Magaliz and Cynthia, with your thoughtfulness and your love.

 

God bless you!

 

God is Yaara Benbenishty, a soldier of light and truth and the best den mother in Israel, and Techiya Granot and Dave Trageser, my best roommate ever, and Herb Eisman and Dan Kaplan and Barry Raffensberg and my other buddies in Sar-El, young soldiers, like Abiram Schwartz.

 

God bless my Sar-El pals!

 

I recently attended my 40th reunion from high school.

 

At that reunion, I encountered many of my old friends.

 

I saw Andrew Levy, who has never stopped looking out for me over the decades, across time and space.

 

God bless you, Andrew, and Luisa and your mother and dad and your sisters and your whole family!

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God is other friends from Hopkins, like Lesli Greenberg and her family and Frank Lee and his family and Charlie Lewinsohn and his family, and Charlie Treff and Mark Celentano and Betsy Angeletti and her family and Mary Delmonico and Ethan Rappaport and Matthias Blume and Dave Keck and Isam Kaoud and Dennis Donahue and Steve Weisbrod, and Sarah Binder and Steve Binder, and Leigh Shemitz and Leigh’s mother and dad and family, and Betsy Chapman and Bobby Bua and Molly Winship and Judith Greenberg and Amy Konowitz and Marva Jeffrey and Stephanie Kaminsky and Tom Pinchbeck and Tom Rooks and Ted Lovejoy and Phil Johnson and Nora Colliton and Dubravka Maric and Evelyn Reid and Mrs. Reid and Rob and Paul and their family and Ina Traeger and her family, and Bea and her family, and Herb Richman and Bob DuCharme, and Seth Stier and David Job and Paul Bottino and David Levitin and Jamie G. and Tony Sher and Marc Etkind and Lisa Peck and Alison and Steve Snow and the Snow family, and Bob Sussman, and Debbie Adler and Jordan Schwartz and Ross Kaplan and Debbie Grodd and the Grodd family, and Jim Peterson and Linnea P., and Marj Greenstein and her family, and Coach Tom Parr and Barbara Riley and Barbara Monahan and Bruce Evans and his mom and dad and children and Martha Sullivan and Liuzzi's and Valentino's and the Whitneyville market and the dean of letters, Thornton Wilder, and Gerry Etkind and Katie van Sinderen and Lisa Bogan and Jeremy Brooks and Karen Stevens and Kit Winter and Sara Thier, whom Barbara and I hung out with in Los Angeles, and Mike Battin and Josh Renkin, two of my best pals in 7th grade, and Sharland Blanchard.

 

God is Leila Parikh, our class valedictorian, who, like Miss Bruney, gave a speech at Hopkins on my behalf and denounced the whole school when so many people were being cruel to me in 1983.

 

I did not even remember Leila’s speech until recently, which gets to the issue of PTSD, and how our brains and our souls can heal from trauma, even from trauma that takes place when we are little children, as I was when I was abused by my kindergarten teacher.

 

Sometimes, it can take 40 or 50 years or more to remember events, including favorable ones, when trauma has wreaked havoc with the body, brain and soul of a little child.

 

We heal only on God’s time clock.

 

And He has His own time clock, as Bob Dylan sings.

 

The Bobster is another angel of mine, who inspires me every day with his art, with his lyricism, and with his strength.

 

Dylan is a tough guy, one of the toughest guys around, like Norman Mailer and Leonard Cohen, two of his sparring partners.

 

As I noted earlier, you have to be tough and resilient to live on this planet, let alone to produce art of a surpassing beauty, like Bob Dylan.

 

God is Arianna Huffington, a Greek goddess, whose missions of building resilience in every human being and of sparking wonder in the world should prompt us all to reflect on what really matters in life, gratitude, appreciation, empathy and being part of something greater than yourself.

 

I feel very honored that Arianna has given me a platform on which to write for years, and I am forever grateful to Arianna and to her associates, Rebecca Muller, Caitlin Herbert, Zoe Foulkes, Stuart Whatley and David Flumenbaum, among others, with whom I have worked at Thrive Global and the Huffington Post.

 

Again, it was Jesus, it was God, who picked writing to be my field.

 

And it is He, only He, only the Lord, who has chosen my trajectory within and outside of this profession.

 

God is cohorts of mine at L.A. Weekly, where I worked from 1997 through 2006.

 

God is David Caplan, my buddy, who headed up the copy department for years and who supported me probably more than anyone, after Barbara passed away.

 

David boosted my spirits with his kindness and compassion.

 

He is a very strong angel.

 

And David has a charming family, his mother, Iris, a brilliant woman; David’s brother, Dan, and Dan’s wife, Monica, and their children, Melody and Aidan, all of them gifted and musical.

 

I love David, an aficionado of music and comedy and late-night TV, who is a brother of mine over the generations.

 

God bless you, David!

 

And I hope to see you soon.

 

God is my other friends from L.A. Weekly, like Ryan Ward, a sublime artist, who has designed this website and who is one of my dearest friends.

 

Ryan is a beautiful fellow, who has overcome so much and whose cheerfulness, imagination and humility bless us all.

 

God has picked Ryan to bring his visual aesthetic, a unique sensibility, to this website.

 

Ryan perks me up when I see him, and he is doing the Lord’s work every day.

 

Thank you for your advice and sweetness, Ryan, and thank you for your friendship and your love.

 

God bless you, Ryan!

 

And God bless your sweet dog Mrs. Cami and your mother and father, Cheryl and Daniel.

 

Of course, my time at L.A. Weekly begins with Connie Monaghan, one of my angels, whom I mentioned earlier.

 

Connie was my first boss at L.A. Weekly, and she showed great empathy when I was going through my second psychotic break, my relapse in 1999.

 

It was a delight to work with Connie and for Barbara and me to hang out with her.

 

You were and are a joy to us, Connie.

 

Much love to you, young lady.

 

And God bless you, Connie!

 

You rock!

 

Also rockin’ is Falling James.

 

God is Falling James, a raucous pal, shining with light and truth from the copy editing and proofreading department.

 

He is one of the most generous writers and musicians around.

 

An artist and a tough guy, Falling James is also one of the bravest people I know.

 

God bless you, Falling James!

 

And God is Peter Barton Fletcher, another artist and tough guy, musician and fellow lover of Pez candy dispensers as well as Bob Dylan.

 

God bless you, Bart!

 

The Weekly had a stable of talent, writers and editors, copy editors and proofers, photographers and artists, like Shelley Leopold and Mitch Handsone and Laura Steele and Debra DiPaolo and Fiona Shields and many others whom I did not know well, like Maggie Song, whose name alone, tonic and lyrical, warrants a place in this roll call of soul mates and genealogy of angels.

 

The Weekly was a special place; it truly was.

 

And I feel blessed by God, who got me that job, through my dear friend, Peggy Lake.

 

Peggy, my neighbor in Venice, and her son rock!  They are wonderful people.

 

Were it not for the Lord, were it not for the Grace of God, I would not have met Peggy, who recommended me to Connie Monaghan, who hired me.

 

I thank the Lord for His love, for getting me the job at the Weekly, with its “motley crew of misfits,” in the phrase of David Caplan, our stalwart copy chief, under the Lord.

 

Yes, we were a motley crew of misfits.

 

And pound for pound, we had the best staff and put out the best paper in L.A.

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God is Tom Knechtel, artist and poet extraordinaire, and his family.

 

Few, if any, of the Weeklyites were or are as angelic or sublime as Steven Mikulan, perhaps the most gifted editor and writer whom I have met.

 

Steven is so modest that one might not realize or one might forget how brilliant he is.

 

Serving Jesus, serving God, Steven edited a story I wrote years ago on Ronald Reagan.

 

That is one of my favorite pieces, and Steven deserves a lot of credit for his beautiful editing.

 

There were many unique voices at the Weekly.

 

In the symphony of voices, none were as courageous as Erin Aubry Kaplan, an imaginative and fierce writer on race, whose integrity and honor may be unmatched.

 

Other voices at the paper included Steven Leigh Morris, a theater critic and union man of wit and strength; Lovell Estell, a knight of chivalry and honor, right out of The Canterbury Tales, and a fine theater critic and editor as well; Joe Donnelly, wonderful as a conversationalist and dinner companion, with whom Barbara and David Caplan and I shared many lively meals; Sharan Street, the den mother of the paper, who nurtured all of us; Christine Pelisek and Linda Immediato, outstanding reporters of the news and fashion; Mehammed Amadeus Mack, whose kindness, energy and love for literature can help us all heal; and many many others.

 

Of course, God is the healer.

 

Jesus can heal us of anything and everything.

 

And God is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever.

 

Amen.

 

God is every attorney, who believes that no one is above the law, who believes in justice, true justice, the true light and truth.

 

God is Stephen Callister, who was introduced to Barbara and me by Franchesca, one of our dearest friends.

 

Barbara and I met Franchesca in 2001, just before we got married, and we have been dear friends ever since.

 

Franchesca, perhaps more than anyone else, is family to me in Los Angeles.

 

And she did a beautiful deed, a mitzvah, in recommending Mr. Callister to Barbara and me.

 

Mr. Callister is a lawyer of integrity, honor, courage and love.

 

I feel very blessed by God, by Jesus, that He had Franchesca, so close to Barbara and me, bring Mr. Callister and his staff of angels, Eren and Aaron and Agat and Heidi and Paige and others, into our lives.

 

God bless you, Franchesca!

 

And God bless you, Mr. Callister, and your family and colleagues at your firm!

 

Much love to you, Mr. Callister, and to all lawyers and lawmakers, who show what it means to serve God, our country, the Constitution and the law with love and honor, and with light and truth, the true light and truth!

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Franchesca also introduced me to Carol, my girlfriend, who nurtures me everyday with her light and truth.  Please see special tribute to Carol on this site.

 

God is also every doctor, who follows his calling and who is a healer, someone who takes the Hippocratic oath as a pledge from which he or she can never deviate.

 

Doing no harm should come naturally to every doctor and to all of us.

 

I have been blessed with many wonderful doctors, including Dr. Michael McGrail, my psychiatrist from 1996 through 2007.  Dr. McGrail saw me through my two psychotic breaks and did so much to heal me, under the Lord.  I will discuss him more later.  What I will say now is that he is one of my greatest angels, who helped me so much when I was ill and forever.

 

God is Dr. Michael McGrail.

 

Also serving the Lord, with their love as healers, are Dr. Thomas Miklusak, a man of rare generosity and intelligence, who is nonjudgmental and exceptionally loving and kind, and his wife, Chris, high school sweethearts and role models with their love and kindness and strength; Dr. Miklusak’s daughter, Courtney, and her husband, Clark, and their children, Elle and little Cade Thomas; Dr. Miklusak’s son, Ryan, and his wife, Kathy, and their children, Molly and little Reid Thomas; and Dr. Miklusak and Chris’ colleague, Sylvia.

 

Dr. Miklusak has not only been my psychiatrist for more than a decade, during which time he has nurtured me and given me support; Dr. Miklusak has also shown extraordinary wisdom and selflessness in recommending many other doctors and friends into my life and Barbara’s.

 

Dr. Tom has always tried to help us, and he has done so on matters that are not only about psychological health; he has also helped me with advice on matters financial and legal and personal.

 

Dr. Tom is one of my greatest angels, like Dr. McGrail, and I am grateful to the Lord for choosing Dr. Tom as my psychiatrist.

 

God bless you, Tom, and God bless you, Chris!

 

God bless you and your family in Jesus’ name!

 

Yes, God is Dr. Thomas Miklusak and Chris Miklusak and their beautiful family.

 

And God is Dr. Michael Klein, my primary doctor and a man of the highest wisdom and compassion, as well as Dr. Klein’s wife and family and staff.

 

God is Kirby, always comforting and sweet at the lab, and his staff.

 

God is Dr. Joseph Haraszti, brilliant as a psychiatrist, psychopharmacologist and forensic psychiatrist, and his associates, Renu and Doran, all of them angels.

 

God is Dr. Michael Gurevitch and Dr. Acosta, who took care of my Barbara, when she had pulmonary issues and breast cancer.

 

God is Dr. Tanveer Hussain and Dr. Jocelyn Quan, also angels, at the Glendale Small Animal Hospital, and their staff, led by Adela, who may be a saint, about whom I will have more to say.

 

It goes without saying that not all doctors are like the doctors and healers I have just praised.

 

Nor are all doctors like Anthony Fauci, one of the world’s heroes.

 

God is Anthony Fauci, just as God is brave journalists and others in the firmament.

 

As is the case with doctors and everyone else, not all members of the Fourth Estate have the honor of the people I have already named and cited, but I have not named and cited nearly all of the wonderful angels in journalism with whom I have worked.

 

God is Bob Sipchen, as well as Gary Spiecker, editors of modesty, imagination and courage in the op-ed department.

 

God is Alan Mittelstaedt, a newsman, whose combination of strength and love, improvisational gifts and way with words, all conjure Hildy Johnson of The Front Page.

 

God is Dan Henry, who encouraged me to go into journalism.

 

God is Rob Greene, one of the brightest and most gentlemanly of editorial writers and a good friend of Barbara’s and mine.

 

God is Mary Beth Crain and Ellen Krout-Hasegawa, two of the greatest angels at L.A. Weekly, with their appreciation for film and literature, for the written and spoken word, and with their even greater appreciation for humanity.

 

God is Judy Tsuruda and Sheila Beaumont, two of the best copy editors in the field, with their rigorous work ethic as well as their kindness, sweetness and decency.

 

God is a whole roster of Weeklyites, Dean and Siran and Maureen Aller and Ben E. and his family and Frank C. and Marc and his family and Harold and Manohla and Ella and Kate Sullivan and Dave Shulman and John Curry; and Craig Gaines, who, like Barbara and Ryan, hails from Michigan; and Bill Smith and Dana and Paul Takizawa and Tulsa Kinney and Charles Rappleye, Tim Ericson and, once again, Peggy Lake, a goddess and dear friend, who made the Weekly the Weekly and who gets the highest praise and tons of love and feathers for recommending me to Connie Monaghan.

 

God bless you, Peggy!  And God bless your family!

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God is Sue and Janet, who edited my first stories for the Weekly and the L.A. Times and who did so with warmth and subtlety.

 

God is John Payne and Greg Burk, the Weekly’s top music editors, with their diverse and original takes on the scene in L.A.

 

God is Ron Stringer, one of the most tender and angelic people I have met, and one of the brightest, a lover of film and a deep believer in God, who loved Jesus more than anything.

 

God is many other people in journalism, Naomi and Susan and Howard and Rob and Roberto and Tom T. and Adam and Amy and Shoshana and others at the Jewish Journal.

 

If I can go back in time to my years in New York, God is the angels, whom I met at the New York City Department of Parks & Recreation, where I worked in the late 1980s, after graduating from college.

 

The greatest of these angels is Ann L. Buttenwieser, my former supervisor and surrogate mother.

 

God bless you, Ann, and Larry and Jill and your whole family!

 

Ann is one of the best angels, who helped me more than just about anyone at a time when I was catatonic in my studio in Gramercy Park.

 

Ann surfs the heavens here on earth, and she does so as a deity of urban planning.  Ann voyages above the naysayers and plans water-based ventures of love in New York and other cities, other places.

 

I will always think of Ann, a lifelong advocate for parks and the waterfront, as a dear friend, who, under the Lord, immersed me in the maps, recreational activities and politics of the New York City waterfront and who showed me that things can get done in a big city if you “fight like Hell,” as she wrote in her book, The Floating Pool Lady.

 

That book documents the history of the floating swimming pool, which Ann, serving God with her good deeds, her beautiful deeds, revived and brought back to New York City.

 

This was a grand idea of Ann’s that came to fruition, due to Ann’s tireless advocacy and love.

 

Of course, love is God.

 

And God is love, as Barbara always said, invoking the Word and the Torah.

 

God bless you, Ann!

 

And God bless Commissioner Henry J. Stern!

 

A sprite with some of the most glorious feathers, Henry J. Stern, then the NYC Parks Commissioner, joined Ann in helping to shepherd the “Baseball Ferry,” a waterborne transit service, to fruition in New York in 1989.

 

Commissioner Stern flaps his wings now in the heavens, where he has an abundance of trees to climb and egg-creams to savor.

 

He has poems to recite and policies to hatch, all of which will benefit New Yorkers and humanity.

 

God bless you, Commissioner Stern!

 

I had other wonderful friends at the New York City Parks Department, like Samson Mulugeta and Joe Richardson, with whom I discussed civil rights and baseball and basketball and who were two of my closest pals at Parks.

 

Samson was a particularly close friend, who, along with Ann and Commissioner Stern, navigated me, under the Lord, past negative forces at sea and on land.

 

Samson is very kind, and we should not mistake kindness for weakness, as Bob Dylan sings.

 

I have made this mistake.  And it is a sin for which I still repent.

 

I can picture Samson, a dear angel, ascending to the ether with his wife, where he talks about Operation Moses and the New York Mets, while we sit in the upper deck at the old Shea Stadium.

 

Much love to you, Samson!

 

And much love to you, Joe!

 

Much love also to Gary Zarr, for whom Samson and Joe worked in the Parks’ press office.

 

Gary is a mensch, the first to interview me at Parks.

 

He recommended me to Ann Buttenwieser.  And I can’t thank him enough.

 

God bless you, Samson, and your family and Joe and Gary!

 

Of course, the Lord got me that job as a waterfront planner at the Parks Department.

There were many other angels at Parks, such as Annie Long and Michelle Cumbo, big sisters to me in the waterfront division, who cared greatly for their little brother, and whom I long to see again.

 

I can recall having soul food with my two big sisters, talking about the Beatles and sweet potato pie and rap music.

 

Yes, Annie and Michelle are special ladies, very special ladies, and I hope to see them again soon.

 

My love to you both.

 

God bless you, Annie and Michelle!

 

Lee Ilan and Carolyn Yee are two other angels from Parks.

 

They both looked out for me during my days in city government, and I will always remember them with fondness.

 

I will also remember Sidney Johnson and Otto Milgram and Cassie Wilday and many more wondrous souls from my time at Parks, architects and engineers and planners and others, who loved the city, the waterfront and the parklands.

 

These are other generations of angels from other times, other places.

 

God is Jeff Jones, a sweet angel with a bowtie!

 

God is Julie Otto and her children and dad, honest and kind souls.

 

God is Kathy Brady and Francisco Belaunzaran, friends from college.

 

God is David Shaywitz and his family!

 

God is Azalea and Detrila outside of New Orleans.

 

God is Salman and Sami in Glendale.

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God is Jane Stern and Ellie G.

 

God is my family’s friends from Connecticut, Dr. Nira and Dr. Joel Silverman, angels of the highest calling, who soar in the ether, with their daughters, Miryam, whom I dated in high school, Sharon and Shari, and their families.

 

The Silvermans are great friends, who should always be cherished.

 

They believe deeply in God, and they honor the Torah.  It is an honor to be a friend of the Silvermans, beautiful souls, all.

 

Other friends and angels include my mother’s pals, Dinny and Windy and their families; Audrey and Jack Downey and family, and Jim Alexander and family; and Susan Skolnick and her family; and Jane Goldman and her family; and Barbara and Meir and their family; and Samantha and Angela Bertini, wonderful angels indeed, and their family; and Pam Field, who lovingly put me back in touch with Professor Fayen, and Pam’s husband, David, and their family; and Jonathan and Cynthia; and Dr. Henry and Joan Binder, loving angels, and their family.

 

God is all of our lovely friends.

 

And God is Araba, Katherine Quaijah, a supreme angel, who helps my mother and me so much with her love and wisdom.

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I pray that Araba’s daughter, Lucy Maureen Quansah, and Araba’s grandson, Michael Aidan Johnson, both of whom live in Ghana, can obtain U.S. citizenship and U.S. visas.

 

They too are angels, like Araba, and it would be a blessing for them to gain their U.S. citizenship and visas.

 

God is also the angels at the Lawn Club in New Haven, such as Connor and Jesse and Karine and Robert and Dylan and Linda and Victoria.

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And God is other blessed souls, Audrey Downey and Jack Downey, and Grayson Murphy and Jim Alexander, and John McCain and Cindy McCain, and Nelson Mandela and Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, and Rabbi Robert Goldburg and Cantor Arthur Yolkoff, and the Kennedy and Fitzgerald families, and Les and Ginni Wrigley, and Joe De Nicola and John De Nicola and Mrs. De Nicola and Cody, and Felice Bogus and Bob Mermelstein, Betsy and Jonathan G. and family.

 

God bless all of you and your families!

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LEVITICUS: ANGELS WITH
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Leviticus, the third book of the Torah, focuses on the law.

 

The Levites were the holiest tribe, those most dedicated to the Torah, along with the Cohanim, the high priests.

 

Members of the House of Levi carried the Ark of the Covenant through the desert with Moses for 40 years, and they brought it back to Jerusalem after the Ark had been stolen by the Philistines.

 

King David danced with joy when the Ark returned to Jerusalem.

 

That is how much King David loved God.

 

Irrespective of whether we retrieve the actual Ark of the Covenant and bring it back to the Temple Mount, it might be said that all of us have an Ark of the Covenant in our souls.

 

Do we behave ethically?  Do we honor the Torah?  Do we take an accounting, a regular accounting, of our souls?  Do we repent?

 

We all need to repent, to atone, for not one of us is perfect.  Not one of us is sin-free.

 

Only Jesus is not a sinner.   And He is God, the Son of God.

 

Jesus, God the Father, appoints angels to His cause, angels who help Him in the heavens and the earth.

 

Maybe, we are all angels with dirty faces, to a degree.

 

That is why we need the Torah, why God gave the tablets to Moses at Mt. Sinai.

 

The Lord gave us the Torah because the Israelites, like everyone else, were sinners.

 

They were sinning horribly.

 

Some of the Jews were worshiping the golden calf, genuflecting before Baal.

 

Man’s imagination can stray to evil.

 

This has been true since Adam and Eve, tricked by the serpent, partook of the forbidden fruit.

 

Then their son Cain became the world’s first murderer when he killed his brother, Abel.

 

Can we ever return to a time before the Fall, to a time of innocence?  Can we ever bring back the Garden of Eden?  Can we be new men, new women, free of sin?  Can we be born again?

 

Are we all just angels with dirty faces?

 

If so, at least, we can grow.

 

At least, we can reconfigure our lives and learn to become better people.

 

We all fail in life, but that is a good thing, because you can learn more from failure than success.

 

Angels with Dirty Faces is the title of a Warner Brothers movie, starring James Cagney, from the late 1930s.

 

I happened to write about this Warner classic for my high school newspaper, The Razor, in a column called “Film Flashback,” when I was a senior at Hopkins in the 1982-83 school year.

 

In reality, I did not just happen to write about Angels with Dirty Faces.

 

The Lord had me write about that film, in which James Cagney plays a gangster, Rocky Sullivan, and Pat O’Brien plays a priest, Sullivan’s boyhood friend.

 

While the two leads remain friends throughout the film, as they were in real life, they spar over who has the greater influence concerning the Dead End Kids, a group of ragamuffins in the movie, many of whom would later become the Bowery Boys.

 

Yes, we are all sinners, and not just gangsters and ragamuffins.

 

Even a parish priest sins.

 

But that does not mean that a parish priest or anyone else cannot atone.

 

We can all redeem ourselves.

 

Of all of my sins, perhaps one of the most glaring is that I have sometimes mistaken kindness for weakness, to repeat a quote from Bob Dylan, who was calling forth the Lord when he sang those lyrics.

 

Mistaking kindness for weakness is a sin that we have all probably committed from time to time.

 

I have not always appreciated the kindness of others.

 

Nor have I always appreciated the little moments in life, to paraphrase from Thornton Wilder’s Our Town.

 

Who can appreciate all the little moments in life? asks the deceased Emily Gibbs in Wilder’s most well-known play.

 

“Poets, maybe,” says the Stage Manager in a line that will resound for eternity.

 

Poets, maybe.

 

Barbara, my wife, was, is and always will be a poet.

 

The Lord has made me a writer, a journalist and a novelist, but it is Barbara who is a poet.

 

Carolyn Whiley is, too.

 

Sometimes, I have gotten my signals crossed, if I can once more quote Bobby Dylan, who, as always, is channeling the Word.

 

Yes, sometimes, in prose, in articles, in emails, in messages, in novels, I have gotten my signals crossed.

 

I have been cruel on occasion to some people, like President Barack Obama, a great man, one of our world’s most positive and enlightening political leaders.

 

President Obama is the hope and the change that we all seek for this planet.

 

And I have been jealous of President Obama, which is awful of me.

 

It is true that I have been jealous of others, whom I have criticized in my writing, including Nicholas Kristof and James Fallows and Mitt Romney and David Brooks and Jimmy Carter, to name a few.

 

At this point in the history of the world, satire and irony should remain a part of a writer’s toolkit, but I should not have been mean-spirited, as I was, at times, in my writings, particularly my writings about President Obama.

 

I have apologized in articles to President Obama and Nicholas Kristof.

 

And if I ever have a chance to meet President Obama or Nicholas Kristof or James Fallows or Mitt Romney or David Brooks or Jimmy Carter, I will be delighted to apologize to them, face-to-face.

 

I also once said something disrespectful about the late Pete Hamill, who was one of my heroes for decades.

 

At the time that Pete Hamill passed away, I spoke over the phone to a friend about how I had thought about writing a tribute to Hamill, but I had declined to do so.

 

I may have even said that I did not really respect Hamill.

 

This is not how I felt.  This is not how I felt at all.

 

I was in an unpleasant state, drenched with arrogance, and I got the “thorn of Satan” in me.

 

This is my fault.  That sin, like all of my sins, is on me!

 

Yes, I am a sinner, and I spoke disrespectfully about one of my heroes.

 

I was wrong to say anything disrespectful about Pete Hamill, no matter what.

 

The truth is that I admired Pete Hamill, and I loved his writing.

 

When I lived on kibbutz Mishmar HaEmek in Israel in late 1989 and 1990, I asked my dad to send me an international subscription to the New York Post, for which Hamill wrote at the time.

 

My dad did send me the New York Post, which I used to read in our kibbutz social area.  The sports section was the best in New York at the time, and in terms of the  columnists, Hamill was my favorite.  He and Mike McAlary and Mark Kriegel all wrote great pieces.

 

Sometime after I moved to Los Angeles in late 1994, I had, for about six months, a news service send me a subscription for the New York Daily News, which Pete Hamill was then editing.

 

And when I lived in Boston in the early 1990s, I picked up the New York Post, whose pages featured the columns of Hamill, as well as those of Jack Newfield, McAlary and Kriegel.

 

I am very sorry that I was disrespectful when I spoke of Pete Hamill, a man of the greatest character, modesty and open-mindedness, a quintessential New Yorker, who loved all the ethnic enclaves in the city and in other towns.

 

God is Pete Hamill, whose books I used to await eagerly and buy, as soon as they hit the bookshelves.

 

I can recall buying The Times Square Gym, Why Sinatra Matters and News Is a Verb, nonfiction works of art, which seemed to come out in rapid succession not long after I moved to Los Angeles.

 

And I loved Hamill’s novels, particularly Snow in August and Forever, both of which feature a strain of the Kabbalah or Jewish mysticism, the intimate presence of God in our lives.

 

We are all part of the tradition that has been passed down by God, who originally passed down the Kabbalah, the tradition, to Moses, who passed it down to Aaron, and then to Joshua, all the way to the present day when Bar Mitzvah boys and Bat Mitzvah girls receive the Torah.

 

One need not be Jewish to receive the Word of God.

 

God is the Author and Finisher of our Faith; and it is One Faith, under One God.

 

This is true, whatever our religion or non-religion.

 

And the Lord, our God, is Jesus.

 

Thankfully, the Lord is very forgiving, and He does send angels to the earth, writers like Pete Hamill and Bob Dylan and Thornton Wilder, and many, many others, hybrids, of all forms, including my mom and dad, including my Barbara, my soul mate, including Carolyn and Mama and the Whiley family, including Carol my dear girlfriend, and many dear friends, some of whom the Lord has had me write about over the years, and some of whom I have sinned against in prose when I have gotten my signals crossed.

 

That does not mean that my angels have behaved perfectly with me.

 

I can’t judge them or anyone.  Nor can they judge me.

 

Only Jesus can judge us.

 

But I can assess people, as we all should.

 

And I would never deny that I am a sinner, perhaps the chief sinner, like Paul the Apostle.

 

I continue to sin, as I undoubtedly will for the rest of my life.

 

I must and will continue to repent.  I need to do so, and I want to do so.

 

Repenting or atoning is good for the soul.

 

As I said to Barbara, whenever the situation arose, “Sweetheart, I don’t get angry that often, and when I get angry, I will never stay angry.  And I will always apologize.”

 

I am asking everyone for forgiveness for my sins.

 

This is God’s world!

 

We must realize this.

 

We should remember the Lord, our God!

 

We should praise Him!

 

We should want to praise Jesus, God the Father!

 

And there is nothing that the Lord, our God, loves more than a love song, a song of love and praise and joy and thanksgiving that we chant to Him!

 

Besides the contents on our website, I would like to mention two books that God has chanted and written in me.

 

One is the opus, to which I have referred elsewhere, an eight-book novel that Barbara mused and that I received from the Lord.

 

As I have mentioned, the opus is written in a style that the Lord has had me characterize as Kabbalistic realism.

 

At some point, I will have much more to say about the opus, which is a song epic in length, in breadth and in every sense.

 

For now, the Lord wants me to let the opus speak for itself, and the opus will sing with love when, under God’s authority, it is published.

 

This will take place in the near future.

 

The second book that I would like to mention is a book-length essay, a confession, which consists not only of my admission of my sins and my repentance; this book also provides a testimonial to the miracles that have occurred in my life, the miracles of angels like Barbara, my soul mate, Carolyn and Miss Bruney.

 

Carolyn is the Muse of this text, which is dedicated to Mama, Lucille Whiley, who conceptualized its title and content.

 

It is an essay, chanted and written in me by Jesus, along with poetry and illustrations by Carolyn, and excerpts of scripture from Mama.

 

In the essay, I have hailed my chief angels, including Miss Charlotte Bruney, my 9th grade math teacher, whom I mentioned earlier.

 

Hearing the Word of the Lord, our God, Miss Bruney stood up for me when I was a senior in high school and in jeopardy of being kicked out of school, because of lies and character assassination.

 

Miss Bruney is a hero, who had courage that is rare and that may be unparalleled in my life.

 

As the Lord had me write in a 2021 Thrive Global piece titled, “The Gospel of Charlotte Bruney,” it does not take much courage to stand up for a person when everyone else is doing so.

 

Courage is demonstrated by standing up for a person when it is not popular to do so.

 

That is the courage that Miss Bruney, then the dean of faculty at Hopkins, showed when she stood up for me in 1983 when I was a senior at Hopkins, my high school in New Haven, Conn.

 

Miss Bruney, who was African-American, told everyone at the school that all the Black students “could feel my warmth.”

 

Miss Bruney added, “I need him.  My people need him.”

 

She had seen too many gifted people, many of them artists and people of color, diminished or destroyed by the jealousy of others.

 

And she was not going to let that happen again.

 

When Miss Bruney finished her speech from the stage at Hopkins, some of my friends and teachers, as well as Mr. Michael McGill, the head of the school at the time, stood up and applauded!

 

I did not even know what was happening because I was so “damaged,” as Miss Bruney pointed out.   

 

I was dissociating, as I had done for years and would do for decades.

 

I was dissociating from the evil, from the trauma that had afflicted me in kindergarten and before and after.

 

In the book-length essay that Carolyn has mused and that Mama, Lucille Whiley, has inspired, I discuss in greater detail the miracle brought by God when he had Miss Bruney stand up for me at Hopkins.

 

The book also reveals the clearest manifestation of the Lord’s miracles in my life, and that is the miracle of Barbara, my little angel and wife.

 

Barbara was the best kindergarten teacher ever, who blessed me for 23 years and more, after I had the worst kindergarten teacher ever, a woman, who savaged me when I was a 5-year-old child.

 

Channeling the Lord, I have written at length about my Barbara in Thrive Global, in speeches and in the opus.

 

Other than Jesus, Barbara, along with Miss Bruney, is my greatest champion.

 

And Barbara is my soul mate, a little pixie, who glides with the waves in the sky, surfing and watching over me with giddiness and love, as she and I voyage back to our eternal home together in the heavens.

 

The book-length essay, a confession of my sins to Jesus and a testimonial to the presence of God in my life, also features my praise of Carolyn, to whom the Lord enlisted Barbara to guide me near the end of this life.

 

It was at the Mark Hopkins Hotel, where Barbara and I celebrated her 80th birthday and other lovely occasions, that I got to know Carolyn, who introduced me to the Lord’s Prayer, to her family in the House of the Lord, and to the way, the truth and the life.

 

I remain imperfect in every way, including in recall.

 

Only Jesus is perfect in anything; and He is perfect in everything.  He is everything.

 

God Is.

 

There is no doubt that Miss Bruney and Carolyn and my Barbara, my soul mate, have always been a part of my life, going back over the generations.

 

I am very lucky that God has blessed me with such angels and with His miracles.

 

He has done so, even though I am a sinner, perhaps, as I said, the chief sinner.

 

I can get angry, I can be arrogant, I can be sadistic and cruel, I can be narcissistic.  And I have hurt people throughout my life.

 

I have never intended to hurt others, though I have written tough prose about some people, like President Obama.

 

But I have never set out to hurt anyone in my life!

 

Never!

 

Still, I have hurt people.

 

I fail all the time.  I fail others.

 

And I fail the Lord.

 

I ask all the people I have harmed for forgiveness for my sins.

 

And I ask Jesus for forgiveness.

 

I ask Jesus and others for forgiveness because I do sin every day, because I do sin all the time.

 

I am grateful to Jesus Christ, the Lord, to God, the Father, that I have been given a second chance, numerous chances, to redeem myself and to repent, so that I can have an opportunity to ascend to the heavens, when Jesus returns.

 

Thank you, my Lord.

 

Amen.

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NUMBERS: RE-LAUNCH

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We all might wonder what a new heaven, new earth, will look like.

 

What is paradise?

 

Is it a garden?  Does it have a river or rivers running through it, like the Garden of Eden?

 

Will the heavens indeed come down to the earth?  When shall the dead be raised?

 

As this website re-launches, I have many other angels to thank.

 

The site has been beautifully redesigned by my dear friend and angel, Ryan Ward, who, as I mentioned earlier, is a superb artist, whom I have known for roughly 20 years going back to my days at L.A. Weekly.

 

Barbara would accompany me to the Weekly on Friday and Sunday, God’s day, just about every week, while I worked the late shift on Tuesday nights, when, as the expression goes, we “put the paper to bed.”

 

This website may receive updates over time, but I would like to think that it can rest now as a special tribute to Jesus.

 

The Lord is the first and the last, the Alpha and the Omega.  The Lord is grace.  The Lord is love.  And the Lord Is.

 

God was there before the beginning, He is here now in all of us, and He will be here until the end and beyond, when we have a new heaven, new earth.

 

The most important commandment is to love the Lord, our God, with all our hearts, with all our souls and with all our minds.

 

And the second most important commandment is to love one another.

 

We can all pray for a time when the wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and when the young lion and the calf and the fatling and all of the other animals and all of us shall lie down together and dwell in God’s world.

 

One can imagine such a time, one of love and peace.

 

Only Jesus knows what will come.  Only God knows the future.

 

As we move forward in the Lord’s Master Plan, we might all seek to be better people, to be good and modest, to be forgiving and to ask for forgiveness, to do good deeds and be generous, to realize our potential, to inhabit and reach our greatest selves, and to be kind and patient.

 

That is what love is.

 

And God is love, as Barbara always said.

 

Yes, God is love, and under the Lord, Ryan has designed, edited and overseen this re-launch.

 

Ryan deserves plaudits for his love and for his beautiful work in illuminating the grace and goodness of God, who gets all the glory! Kudos to Ryan, and Marlena for her photography.

 

We are all just caretakers here, as Carolyn’s friend, Jack, once told me.

 

One might also think of all of us as recipients of Kabbalistic love songs.

 

The hope is that we can hear that love song, chanted and written by God, and then write and sing it back to the Lord, while we give God, the Son and the Father, all the glory!

 

All of it, as Shannon, Carolyn’s sister and my dear friend and sister, has said!

 

As I mentioned previously, according to the Kabbalah, God loves nothing so much as to hear a love song, a song of love and joy and praise and thanksgiving, chanted back to Him!

 

It is also true, according to the Kabbalah, that God has His own female essence, His Shekinah or bride or what one might dub God’s own soul mate.

 

Barbara is clearly my soul mate, my bride and my Shekinah!

 

In spite of all my sins, of which there are plenty, most notably my mistaking kindness for weakness, my self-absorption and my narcissism, I know that Barbara forgives me.

 

I hope that other people, victimized by my sins, can forgive me, too.

 

Above all, I hope that God can forgive me, for He is our Creator, and He is the only One who is free of sin.

 

Thankfully, God is good, God is grace, God is love, God Is, and God, as Carolyn told me several years ago at the Mark Hopkins Hotel, is very forgiving.

 

Nonetheless, we do need to repent.

 

We should all want to do this, so that we have a chance to be saved, to be born again, to achieve everlasting salvation in the heavens.

 

I hope that this website can provide visitors with comfort, solace, nurture and peace.

 

We face more than a bit of strife these days.  This has always been true.

 

But we can strive to be as humane and civil as possible, something that I have not always done.

 

As I wrote before, I have not always been as peaceful or as loving as I should have been or as I should be.

 

I wish that I had the wisdom of Michelle Obama, who, invoking the Lord, our God, has said that when our adversaries “go low, we go high.”

 

I hope that this website shows a more reflective side that honors the former First Lady’s words under God.

 

She and her husband, former President Barack Obama, are serving the Lord and our country and the whole planet, with this wisdom.

 

As are President Joe Biden, Vice-President Kamala Harris and some of our other political leaders, thoughtful ones who have courage and dignity and who radiate the love of God, the Son and the Father.

 

I believe in Jesus, in our Heavenly Father, that He is the Savior, that He is the Resurrection and that He is our Creator and our One God.

 

We may call God by different names, and we may have different faiths or no seeming faith at all.

 

Whatever our beliefs, God is the Author and Finisher of our Faith, which is One Faith.

 

God is the author of all of our lives.

 

And, to repeat what Barbara often told me, God is love.

 

Barbara would add that there is nothing more powerful than love.

 

And there is nothing more powerful than God.

 

As I conclude this call to all soul mates, let me bolster the genealogy with other angels, like Dr. Michael McGrail, my late psychiatrist, about whom I wrote a tribute in the L.A. Times and in pieces in the Huffington Post, all overseen by Jesus, by God.

 

Dr. McGrail is one of my most luminous heroes.  He never judged me, and he still communicates with me through the Lord.

 

I can still hear his voice.

 

And I can still picture him telling Barbara to hop into the office.

 

“Hop into the office, bunny!”

 

Dr. McGrail was a man of love, of good cheer and wisdom; he knew how to enjoy life.

 

He often spoke of La dolce vita!

 

I imagine Dr. McGrail floating in the skies, swimming and diving in fountains of glory, and giving us all the best advice from a former Eagle Scout.

 

“What are we here for, Robert?  What are we here for?”  Dr. McGrail once asked me rhetorically.

 

“To do good deeds.”

 

That is what Dr. McGrail said.  And Dr. McGrail was right.

 

We are here to do good deeds.

 

That is what the Lord wants us to do.

 

But we also have to protect ourselves from those who would harm us.

 

We have to be innocent as lambs or doves, and wise as serpents, as Jesus tells us.

 

My dear friend, Ed Barseghian, told me this, too.  He is one of my best friends, and he lives here in Glendale, not far from me.

 

I love Ed, a Renaissance Man, who can repair almost anything in a house, who has a deep appreciation and love for God, for mysticism and for spirituality, who is a whiz at electronics, and who is calm and thoughtful and masterly in all of his endeavors.

 

Ed has been one of my closest friends, as he was Barbara’s, for years.

 

I thank the Lord for bringing Ed into our lives.

 

He is one of the wisest and most modest people I know.

 

God bless you, Ed, and your family!

 

There are other angels in the genealogy, like Barbara’s cousin Ruth Ann and Aunt Lenora, cherubs and saints, whom we visited in Detroit.

 

I will never forget going out to dinner with Aunt Lenora and watching her enjoy her meal, particularly her crème brulee, as Barbara sometimes reminded me.

 

And I will never forget talking to Aunt Lenora just before she passed away.

 

She was upbeat and happy even while she was in the hospital.

 

“I just got a call from California!” she told everyone, including Ruth Ann, who was with her in the hospital.

 

Barbara and I had fun times with Ruth Ann and her sister, Sally, and Ruth Ann’s son, Jim, and Sally’s boyfriend, Marshall.

 

They were all kind to me and delighted that Barbara and I were together.

 

Barbara and I also had good times with Ruth Ann here in Los Angeles, when we went to the Bonaventure Hotel and Universal Studios for the tour and many other places.

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Despite her losses, Ruth Ann, who passed away recently, never lost her dignity, her warmth and her love.

 

God bless you Ruth Ann and your family.

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Barbara and I have also been blessed by God with some of the most beautiful souls in the veterinary world.

 

Not unlike Dr. McGrail, Dr. Tanveer Hussain and Dr. Jocelyn Quan of the Glendale Small Animal Hospital are two of the most eminent, loving and angelic doctors imaginable.

 

For decades, they have been serving the Lord, taking magnificent care of Carlitos and Rumi and little Fergie, the three cats whom Barbara and I have shared in this lifetime, as well as all the other animals, all of the other babies, at the hospital.

 

The Lord has blessed Barbara and me with Dr. Hussain and Dr. Quan and their team at the Glendale Small Animal Hospital, a dedicated crew of angels, no one more so than Adela, who may indeed be a saint.

 

One of the dearest friends to Barbara and me, Adela sends me sweet notes and adages that help me through the day, while she and everyone at GSAH coo and tend to sweet Fergie and the other angels at the hospital.

 

Over the years, some of the staff members, who have taken care of Carlitos and Rumi and Fergie, include Alyssa and Jennifer, Casey and Vinny, Patrick and Michi, Zack and Esther, and Anais and Charlotte, and many, many others.

 

Please forgive me for forgetting any of our friends and family at GSAH or elsewhere.

 

You are all angels, who are serving the Lord!

 

Other angels include Brian and Max Clark, dear friends of Barbara’s and mine, expert at plumbing as well as boxing and riflery, travel and friendship.

 

They are delightful conversationalists and storytellers, and they possess more than a little courage.

 

Brian and Max have helped Barbara and me so much for decades.

 

And I love them very much.

 

Only the best, gentlemen, only the best!

 

Franchesca, whom I have mentioned earlier, has been and is one of the dearest friends to Barbara and me.

 

She used to come to all of our parties and meet us for lunch and dinner.

 

As I noted, Franchesca sold us our house, and she has set us up with so many kind people, who have enriched our lives, including Carol, my lovely girlfriend, who, along with Kathy, her sister, and Penny and Pepper are beautiful angels.

 

I am grateful to the Lord that He introduced Barbara and me to Franchesca, our dear friend; and I am grateful to Franchesca for bringing so many wonderful people into my life, such as Carol, a most tender and bright soul, and her family.

 

God bless you, Carol, and Kathy and Penny and Pepper!

 

Franchesca is incredibly strong and resilient, as we all need to be, and Franchesca believes deeply in God, in Jesus.

 

God bless you, Franchesca, and Dick and Chris and Christina and Richard and Cocoa and Lexie and your whole family!

 

And thank you, Franchesca, for also introducing me to Steve, brilliant as a handyman and a screenwriter among other fields; and Camillo, another friend, also gifted as a handyman.

 

Another dear friend of Barbara’s and mine is Norma, who has blessed us with her kindness.  Like Barbara and I, Norma loves cats, and she has quite a few of them.

 

And Norma, like all of the angels, overflows with wisdom and warmth.

 

I thank Norma for teaching me, under the Lord, about Mexico, about indigenous culture and about devotion to something greater than yourself.

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God bless you, Norma, and your family!

 

Other angels, who helped me greatly after Barbara passed away, and before, include Ilaria and Alessio and Andrea and Mercedes and Victoria, beautiful souls, who nurtured us at Amici and elsewhere; Blair and Carlos, angels at Katsuya; Lisa and Miguel and Fausto and Merrit, from the old days at Clancy’s; Marcos, a sweet angel, and his colleagues at Porto’s, where Barbara and I had our first date, in 1996; Mo, one of the kindest and most loving gentlemen, with an artist’s eye and memory, and some of his colleagues at the Langham Huntington Hotel, formerly the Ritz Carlton, where Barbara and I not infrequently had breakfast and where we got married in 2001.

 

There are other angels, whose names escape me.

 

I ask for your forgiveness and apologize for my lapses in memory, which has never been perfect.

 

Barbara and I had great times at many restaurants, and elsewhere, and I thank all of the servers and managers and chefs who have nourished us, as well as the friends we have encountered in other venues.

 

I want to praise more angels, whose names have not escaped me, Albert and his brothers; Alfonso and Ernesto; Raquel and Nooneh and JoJo and Ana and Abraham and Shawna; Glenda and Arthur and Arthur and Aida; Sass and Amir and their families; Zack and Carmen and their family; Sam and Marie and their boys; Denise and Erica and Liz and Ted and Mike and Debbie; and Lori Smith and Lori W. and Mo and Liz; Steve and his wife, Bonnie, and their children, Zack and Mikayla, as well as Steve’s lovely sisters and their whole family; Alpha, a musician of the deepest soul; and Elena, whom I thank for her prayers.

 

God has a fleet of angels in a wide variety of fields, angels who are honest and honorable, kind and patient.

 

A top angel in God’s firmament is Barbara’s daddy, Floyd John Sundquist, another hero, who was a combat engineer in World War II, an electrician, an award-winning writer, and who will always be one of the most valorous, chivalrous and beautiful of the angels.

 

Barbara’s daddy, Floyd John Sundquist, was kind to everyone; and he protected my Barbara.

 

I yearn to meet Barbara’s daddy, Floyd Sundquist, and to talk about the war and hockey and baseball and building houses, which he did on weekends.

 

More than anything, I yearn to talk to Barbara’s daddy with and about my Barbara, my little girl, and his.

 

That will be one of the greatest treats and delights of this lifetime or any other.

 

God bless you, Floyd Sundquist!

 

God bless you, Barbara’s daddy!

 

I want to remember and praise all of these angels, and I want to remember and praise them again, just as we should remember and praise the Lord every day.

 

Please forgive me for forgetting anyone.

 

As I have said before, I am a sinner and imperfect in everything, and that includes my memory.

 

Where I have erred, I can always make corrections in the oral tradition.

 

Thank you, and may God bless every soul in Jesus’ name!

 

Amen.

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DEUTERONOMY: A WARNER BROTHERS COMMENCEMENT

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The Torah ends with the Book of Deuteronomy where Moses gets a glimpse at the Promised Land.

 

He speaks eloquently of the future, of the blessings and curses that could follow.

 

And Moses passes the leadership of the Israelites to Joshua, his trusted lieutenant, who leads the Jewish people across the Jordan River.

 

Are we the Joshua Generation, as many, including President Obama, have suggested?

 

Are we headed across the river?

 

Will the holy land crack open by the Mount of Olives in Jerusalem?

 

Will Jesus come back with His bride?

 

Warner Brothers movies begin and end with trumpets and fanfare, with the WB logo, and with credits, a roll call of the stars, co-stars, supporting players, director, producer, crew members, photographers, music coordinators, composers, artists and everyone else.

 

No scroll, like no person, is perfect or complete.

 

This is why we do indeed have the oral tradition to supplement and, in some cases, to correct the record.

 

As this call to all soul mates comes to a close, it may also start afresh with a new genealogy, with a new heaven, a new earth.

 

God has blessed Barbara and me with many angels over the generations, in the arts and sciences, in motion pictures and sports, in literature and friendship, and in other realms.

 

God is Shakespeare.

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God is Bobby Dylan.

 

God is Ry Cooder, a brilliant musician and songwriter, with merry eyes and a heart of soul.

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Barbara and I feel grateful to have met Ry and his son.

 

God bless you, Ry, and your family!

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God is Jim Morrison and Van Morrison.

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God is Garry Shandling and Matt D. and Tony T., great sparring partners.

 

God is Kinky Friedman, a Jewish tough guy in the firmament, with one of the best senses of humor.

 

Kinky is a character on the page, on the stage, in Texas, in L.A., at any joint on the road, or on a goat farm.

 

God bless you, Kinky!  You rock!

 

God is Karen Hermelin and Harry Clein and Lee Clein and Kinsey Lowe and Rex and Bill Edelstein and Diana Swartz and other angels in the Southland and other places in the heavens and the earth.

 

God is Jerome Charyn, a novelist and nonfiction writer, who artfully transmits and, one might say, transmutes the Word of the Lord as well as the voices of angels with dirty faces in New York and elsewhere.

 

Reading Jerome Charyn’s Metropolis helped snap me out of reader’s block and depression on a lonely day in New Haven, Connecticut, when I was a senior in college.

 

Only a singer and writer of magic, under the Lord, could perform such a trick, and Jerome Charyn pulled it off, with the Grace of God.

 

God bless you, Jerome Charyn, my Black Sea uncle, like Henry Stern!

 

God bless you both!

 

God is every great writer, every great filmmaker, every inventor, every creator of art.

 

God is Jon Rubin, who created the Floating Cinema in New York, a glorious hybrid, a pontoon barge with a screen that blends the sea with celluloid, the two shimmering off each other in the light and truth.

 

Jon invented this gem with the love of the Lord.

 

God bless you, Jon!

 

God is Robert McKee and Oliver Stone, two master storytellers and mensches, both of whom were kind and empathetic to me.

 

Robert McKee and Oliver Stone both rock!

 

Col ha-kavod and all the love, gentlemen!

 

God is also John “Kiwi” Kiewicz, an auto racer and writer and a dear friend of my brother, Bill.

 

Keep driving, John, keep writing, and keep on keepin’ on, as Bobby Dylan would say, hearing the Word.

 

God bless you, John, and your wife and family!

 

God is Julie Garfield and John Garfield and John Prine and the Stones and Neil Young and the Beatles, including solo turns from George Harrison and John Lennon, and Simon & Garfunkel and Nilsson and Donovan and the Band and Jack Klugman and Jack Warden and Budd Schulberg and Marlon Brando, artists who bless us and whom we should always remember.

 

God is Dooley Wilson and Donald O'Connor and Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire and Danny Kaye and Spike Lee and Rudy Vallee and great Cole Porter, all angels in the firmament.

 

God is Truman Capote.

 

God is Tennessee Williams.

 

God is Shirley Temple.


God is Kevin Reynolds, my first sports editor, and his family and Papa and Cici and Isaiah and Josh and everyone at Christensen's landscaping and Laura and Ernest Ehle and son and Mr. Ehle, Sr., and Christopher Johnson, and Bill Frame and his family, and Eddie Marshall, and the Morgans and Stevie and Mr. Wuehrle, and Mrs. Katarivas and Keith Allain and Tim Taylor and Carm and Buddy and Seb, top defensive and offensive coordinators, and Rich Diana and Vanessa and Adrienne Hedgspeth and Ron Darling and James Jones and Tony and Jack and Steve and Theo and Cookie and Larry and Herb Brown and Chauncey Billups and Ben Wallace and Ron Artest and Michael Phelps and Simone Biles and Naomi Osaka and Senator Fetterman.

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God is Martin Scorsese and Robert De Niro and Harvey Keitel and Mickey Rourke and Joe Pesci and Ray Liotta, artists who have directed, acted in and collaborated on some of the best movies, some of the best art, of the past 100 years, under the Lord.

 

God is Julian St. John, one of the most beautiful souls, and his grandfather and his mother, Mia, and his dad, Kristoff, and his sisters and his friends, angels in the ether, angels we will not forget.

 

God bless you, Julian, and your family!

 

God is Steve Lopez and Nathaniel Ayers and Frank Baron and Elyn Saks and Sharon Dunas, all of whom hearten the soul and illuminate the very real challenges of schizophrenia and mental illness.

 

God is Brian Poller and Marc Richelsoff; Andy Fisher, a man of great courage and humor; Jill Mainelli, an angel with wisdom and compassion, and her husband and their family; Harris, dear to Herb and Rhoda; Doris; Sheila Duckenfield Bowen and Will and Ira and Truoc or Adani, other Parkies from the 1980s.

 

God is Professor Robert Seidman and Stacy Burnham and Professor McLeod and Professor Wallace, patient in their teaching.

 

God is Ted Kennedy, a civil rights champion, who helped me years ago when I was in trouble.

 

God bless you, Senator Kennedy!

 

God is Mario Cuomo and Ed Koch, two mensches in New York, who also stood up for me.

 

God is Joe Kennedy, a friend from the past.

 

God is Hugh Kennedy, who was kind to me years ago.

 

God is Morrie Schwartz, a judge exuding compassion and honor, and Ellen Cohen and Debbie and Carol and Paul Colombo, souls of love and courage.

 

God bless you all!

 

God is Eric and Kitty Muller.

 

God is Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall.

 

God is Philip and Julius Epstein.

 

God is Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman.

 

God is Peter Lorre and Sydney Greenstreet.

 

God is Alan Hale and Guinn “Big Boy” Williams and Frank McHugh.

 

God is James Cagney.

 

God is Edward G. Robinson.

 

God, as always, is John Garfield.

 

God is Raoul Walsh.

 

God is Michael Curtiz.

 

God is John Huston.

 

God is Delmer Daves.

 

God is the Dead End Kids.

 

These are some of the angels in the firmament.

 

God is Richard Saunders, a sage of psychology and baseball, among other things, who inspired me in New Haven and who still inspires my dreamscape.

 

And God is Richard Saunders’ family.

 

God bless you, Richard, and your family!

 

God is the immigrant to this country or any other, for we too were once strangers in a strange land.

 

God is the outlier and the outsider.

 

God is an artist, who never gives up on his or her work over the generations.

 

God is the underdog.

 

God is the homeless.

 

God is those of us who have schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder or major depression with psychotic features or PTSD or other mental health challenges.

 

God is members of minority groups.

 

God is the meek.

 

God is endurance.

 

God is the way, the truth and the life.

 

God is Leonard Cohen, a high priest and prophet of the highest order.

 

God is all of the angels, who keep on keepin’ on, to quote another time that verse from Bob Dylan, channeling the Lord.

 

God is Bob Dylan, one of the greatest prophets of our time or any time.

 

God is Ray Mancini, who punches way above his weight.

 

God is, once again, Dave Paul, an artist and craftsman of the sweet science, whose life is a testament to light and truth, and who soars in the firmament with love.

 

A magnificent angel, Dave, my boxing trainer, is one of the best friends I have ever had.

 

Dave taught me how to box, and he taught me with empathy, patience and kindness.

 

Love is patient.  Love is kind.

 

And God is love, as Barbara always said.

 

I can picture Dave, as he dances around the ring, tapping the canvas with elegance as well as strategic flair.   

 

Dave shines in everything he does.

 

This is also true of Kim Paul, Dave’s wife, and Junebug, their son, and Brian Phelan, my cornerman, and Ray Mancini, a gentleman and the champ of champs, and Double D and Michael and Juan and Ruby and George and George, and Queen Evita and Diamond Jewels and Miss Freeder and other angels at the boxing gym.

 

Col ha-kavod and all the love and blessings to you!

 

As I noted before, Dave and his family and Brian came to Barbara’s and my wedding, a day that I will always remember.

 

God brought my beautiful bride, my Barbara, to me that day.

 

Helping Barbara and me that day were many angels, many dear friends and family members, many lovely souls, including our wedding planner, Stacy Porras.

 

God is Stacy, who rises above the clouds, and David Burrows, our music coordinator, and Alex Brooks, an exceptional photographer, and the string trio, whose leader told Barbara and me that we had “something special,” and the jazz band, musicians and artists of love at our wedding.

 

God bless you, Stacy and David and Alex, and all the musicians and artists on that beautiful day, May 26, 2001!

 

God bless you all!

 

From my childhood, there are more angels to name and praise, including Mr. Reuben Teodoro, who stood up for me in front of the whole planet of 4th, 5th and 6th graders, and Mrs. Zorena and Mrs. Burke, my first great teacher of the language arts, and Mrs. Rashba and her husband and family and Miss Simpson, who had me write a paper on Rev. Martin Luther King, and Miss Johnson and Mrs. Hertz and Mrs. Taddei, and Stephanie and Chris and Kathleen and their families and Kristin and Eddie S. and Roger Vann and Carlos and Carmen and Bernie and Bob F. and his sister, Karen, and Georgette and Keith K. and Stephanie and Nikki and Karla T. and Andy S. and his brother, Chris, and his mother and dad, and Mrs. Mulcahy; and Gary and Marcy and Mrs. Marlene Greenberg and Dr. Greenberg; and Mel Schmidt, who once told my dad that I was “fast on my feet.”

 

God bless you, Mel, and your wife and family!

 

And God bless all the angels, such as our neighbors and dear friends, the Rosenbergs and the Krauses and the Levises, dearest of friends, and the Reagans and the Ciardiellos and the Turekians and the Stoltzenbergs and the Schneiders and the Kelseys and the Eberths and the Grassis and the Pellegrinos and the Bellises and the Betts and the Weinsteins and the Browns and the Finseths and the Levines and the Jasons, as well as my piano teachers, Miss Schmidt and Mr. Watstein, who were kind and patient with me, even if I would rather have been outside playing baseball or a running game or watching an old Warner Brothers movie on channel 5.

 

Maybe, someday, we will all watch a Warner Brothers movie together, one that evokes the world of James Cagney and Humphrey Bogart and John Garfield and Errol Flynn and Edward G. Robinson and the Dead End Kids and Alan Hale and Guinn “Big Boy” Williams and Frank McHugh and Olivia De Havilland and Ann Sheridan and Alexis Smith and Viveca Lindfors.

 

“There is a little Don Juan in every man, and since I’m Don Juan, there is a little more of it in me,” said Errol Flynn in The Adventures of Don Juan.

 

That may be true.

 

But this is the Lord’s world.

 

We should, of course, love one another, and we should do so in a respectful way, with kindness and patience.

 

Above all, we need to love the Lord, our God, with all our hearts, with all our souls and with all our minds!

 

As I indicated before on several occasions, the Lord has chanted and written an opus in me, and my little Barbara Bunny is the Muse and J writer of this song.

 

Barbara is a poet, as well as my soul mate, the greatest of my angels; and she whispered the eight novels of the opus into my ear.

 

The opus encompasses the heavens and the earth, insofar as it pertains to Barbara’s life and mine.

 

All of our angels appear in some form in this opus, a Kabbalistic love song that the Lord has chanted and written over the generations, through my ancestors, through my parents and all the way to Barbara, my Muse, who indeed whispered the eight novels into my ear.

 

Yes, angels circulate in the opus, and some non-angels, too.

 

There is evil in the world after all.

 

And while I have received the opus, I do sometimes get my signals crossed, for which I apologize.

 

I own my sins, including those that may transpire in our beautiful Kabbalistic love song.

 

Again, I hope that someday you will read the opus, to be published in the future, as well as other works of fiction that bear my name, other esoterica, earlier iterations of novels, precursors to some of the finished books.

 

In addition, perhaps, someday, you will read the memoir of my psychosis, another book that will be published, as will my confession and testimonial to the Lord.

 

As noted previously, the latter is a book-length essay, inspired by and dedicated to Mama, Carolyn’s mother, Lucille Whiley.  It has been mused by Carolyn, under the Lord, our God.

 

Should you read my testimonial and confession to Jesus, to God, or should you read the opus, the masterwork that Barbara has mused, or other books, other songs, please remember that this is the Lord’s world, that God is the Author and Finisher of our Faith, and that we are all One Faith under One God.

 

We all serve Jesus.

 

And we should do so with love.

 

We should delight in the Lord, as King David sings in the Psalms.

 

That is the aim of the opus, the Kabbalistic love song that I have received.

 

The Lord chanted and wrote the opus through my Barbara and others, including my mom and my dad, Ina and Bob Jaffee.

 

And I have received the opus, across time, from generation to generation, with delight.

 

The writing is done.  The opus is sealed.

 

Now, I chant this Kabbalistic love song back to Jesus, back to God the Father, who gets all the glory!

 

In the meantime, I hope once again that you enjoy this website, that it provides you with a sense of serenity, and that it serves as an oasis of kindness and patience, an oasis of love, where we can ask for forgiveness and forgive one another, and where you can find your own soul mate and reunite with him or her, as I reunite with my Barbara.

 

Shalom, salaam and respect!

 

Peace, peace and love!

 

God bless us all in Jesus’ name!

 

Amen.

 

Robert David Jaffee

 

Glendale, California

 

May, 2024

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